There would not be a week that passes when one of my patients/clients asks how to be mentally stronger.
By this they mean, how they can be better placed to deal with stress, confrontation, conflict and various other events that take place in their lives that can upset them. To be upset varies from person to person so the level of support and what can be done to ensure you are into the best mental state to deal with 'your event' and situation is as long as a piece of string.
Having said that, there are some great strategies that can boost your mental wellbeing and in turn give you the best tools to start the day well and have the mindset of energy saving rather than energy depletion.
One of my main and most important go to strategies, is to set the mood for the day by a creating a mindset of 'good intentions'. A morning intention helps prime your subconscious mind to take orders on what to expect today. If we wake up saying 'what will go wrong today', well guess what, things will go wrong...because you pre ordained it! Instead of affirming stress & looking for it, affirm ease, peace and harmony so your subconscious mind expects it.
Own how you intend to spend your day.
90% of our habits come from this very simple thought process...powerful huh...just starting on the right footing has a 90% chance of having a better day rather than a not so good day. I know where my thoughts are first thing in the morning! This we can control - what happens 'out there' we cannot...we can only choose to make that call as to whether we allow those events to affect us, or not...so ease this process by having that 'intention' of a good day.
To be more effective in communication and avoiding conflict is another key strategy to assist in reclaiming your mental energy so learn to slow things down...and that means, your responses. Too much of society today is focused on that 'urgent culture', where we need to respond NOW, immediately and quickly. Ask yourself, will the world stop if I take a few deep breaths (great for the vagus nerve which regulates your nervous system to keep calm under stress), take the time to pause and give yourself that moment to consider a response rather than jump into a reaction. Don's rush your responses...avoid being fearful of having to fill that moment of silence that comes from a pause. Take control of you, your energy and listen with the intent to understand. When we take our time, we take the sting out of the situation and in turn protect our mental energy.
And finally, stay in your lane! Yes, I use this terminology often. Take a moment to consider how you communicate: do you jump to your defence when someone throws comments your way that you do not necessarily agree with? Are you a Miss or Mr fix it when someone is dealing with a situation and you quickly jump to the rescue, making all sorts of comments about 'how you would do it'...sounds familiar? I bet it does.
When you step out of your lane and into someone else's, you are giving your power to that person, their narrative and therefore stripping you of energy. Instead of giving our energy away, create a safe space of listening with the intent to understand, be present and hold space. Validate you have heard what the other person has shared, like 'that must have been so upsetting for you' and allow them to share without judgement or pressure. Always ask permission if you have an idea or thoughts about what to do and seek their permission, ask the question 'what do you need from me right now?'. That is showing support, empathy and compassion.
Reclaiming your mental energy is in your control. Learn to master these very simple strategies and you will move towards a more peaceful existence.