How this simple task of say 'no' eludes most of us


Two letters, one word and something we use regularly, although on many occasions, it is underused.

And I don't mean 'no', I don't want to clean up after myself, 'no', I don't want to do my home work or 'no', I am ok (we have all heard and said that on numerous occasions...).

What is critical to your wellbeing is knowing when to say 'no' to ensure you are making choices and decisions that serve you, not others.

Over years of working with people and supporting them through their respective journey's in life, one element of commonality I have witnessed coming through time and time again, is the simple art of setting boundaries in your life. Being able to ensure that your best interests are taken care of. By this I mean, you, the owner of self, being honest and truthful with yourself when it is comes to self care and how to ensure you maintain wellbeing.

Too many nights out and you find yourself becoming short tempered, grizzly and generally feeling dissatisfied? Accepting bad behaviour from your partner and ignoring it thinking it will 'go away'...allowing friends to take advantage of you and hoping that your kind heart and kindness will eventually rub off and they will 'become better'.

How many times have we sat back and just gone along with whatever, accepted and allowed stuff to happen or occur, without standing up for ourselves and saying 'no'.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • am I ok with the way my partner speaks to me?
  • how do I feel when my best friend puts me down and never apologises?
  • how do I feel when my needs are never heard or met?

So what prohibits 'us' from saying 'no'? Is it the fear of upsetting someone, are you a people pleaser and you feel that this will change how you 'think' others see you? If you are concerned about how others will perceive you if you stand up for 'you', ask yourself:

If I don't stand up for myself, how do I expect someone else to do the right thing by me?

If I don't share that it is no longer good for me, does the other person have a crystal ball and know what I am thinking?

Too often we assume what others think and in turn, we get cross or frustrated.

We are not mind readers and a lot of unrest, conflict and uncertainty in our relationships, with partners, family and friends are intrinsically linked to the lack of saying 'no'.

Let's make life less complicated - keep aligned with your truth, be honest and open and realise that no matter how hard you try, you cannot please all of the people, all of the time - and guess what, that's ok. Be kind to yourself and prioritise you.

So find your voice, make choices that are good for you and share with those that matter - open dialogue and clear communication can be the facilitator for a happier life!

Need some tips, strategies? Let's chat.


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